Today I drove the car for the first time in 51 days. You'd think I'd be happy about it but, honestly, I have mixed feelings about being out and about. Even though my rational mind tells me that's crazy. On the positive side, I can confirm that it takes longer than 51 days to forget how to drive.
It's already some time ago that the decision was taken to postpone the week-long residential that was to kick off the training for spiritual directors I am part of. We moved the entire program (that in-person week is the beginning of a 2 year training that includes both distance and residential portions) to a start date at the end of November. I've been taking a lead in all the communication, as well as the discussion of implications and had thought I was past feeling the loss of it. Actually, not true. I hadn't yet experienced it as a loss, it was just buried under busyness.
[Photo by CoWomen on Unsplash]
Until this week. At the weekend, the staff team would have been assembling from the UK, Ireland, Spain and the United States. Today, participants would have been flying in from around the world. We would be staying together at a retreat centre about 45 minutes further along the coast, plunging into a week of learning, growing and bonding. And it's hitting me how sad I feel that we have not been able to go ahead as planned.
The planning, and meeting, and praying, and admin that it's taken to get us to this point won't be wasted, of course. But still ... I was ready for this big milestone - the first training of its kind in our organisation - and although we have set alternative dates, the future feels uncertain.
How are you processing losses such as these (I bet you've had them)? I have all kinds of creative ideas for Zoom meetings with my team, some sort of moment to acknowledge that we would have been together this week. I just really, really wish it could be a meeting in real life, you know?
No comments:
Post a Comment