Thursday, 7 May 2020

Thursday 7 May

It's Day 53. 

I think I've done pretty well over the last 7+ weeks. But I am reaching my limit, I can feel it. 

"He is tired ... He wants to be done. It has been a long time coming, this feeling. 
Though it only recently reached fever pitch." 
Fatima Bhutto in The Shadow of the Crescent Moon

Perhaps it doesn't matter whether (or when) I reach my limit. Our lockdown has been extended another 2 weeks, whether I have reached my limit or not. God knows, there are many many people out there who have more reason than I do to have reached their limit, and they have as little say as I do in whether we continue in confinement.

The trainer in my online workout program comes to mind. I want to get a hold of her to tell her that sometimes telling yourself to pass your limits isn't enough. Sometimes your buck-up attitude isn't greater than your capacity. Sometimes you really are done, just as you thought you were.

[Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash]

But then, I have a feeling she would come back with a quick retort, another one of her positive thinking one-liners: You don't quit when you're tired - you stop when you're done.

And do you know what? Like it or not, I think she's right. Damn it.


No comments:

Post a Comment