Tuesday 7 April

Day 23. I woke to a long list of things to do: reading, meeting, emailing, scheduling, writing. I did a workout, I drank my coffee. And then, for the first time in this lockdown, I realised I simply didn't have any umph for any of the rest of it. I felt strangely detached from it all. So, unusually perhaps, I decided to err on the side of kindness. Kindness to myself, gentleness in the midst of this far from gentle time.

In spite of all that is being said about slowing our pace, enjoying a less harried way of being, it would be easy to continue in the way we know. Busy. A To Do list that multiplies with every task that is checked off. Deadlines that sit on our shoulder and poke us, no matter what else we are doing.

This week it's Manu's school holiday and no matter how strange this time, I too need to feel rested. I need to disengage at least a little. The world will keep on spinning. So I resisted the natural tendency to push, and I chose to ease myself through the day.

I listened to an audio book by the fire, taking up a long-discarded colouring book to keep my hands busy.

We braaied, Manu played Lego, we chatted with my sisters and their kids. It was a day of nothing ... and maybe that is exactly what is needed, to allow space for new ways of thinking that become new ways of being.