Monday 27 April

What is it about these days and their unpredictable nature? I started the day in a reflective mood, moved into a decided middle-of-the-day funk, coming through that and into a more positive frame of mind, buoyed by guitar by the fire pit and the aroma of Keziah's cinnamon buns.

Are we so fickle? So easily moved by happy tunes and sweet treats? I'm very much afraid we are.

For what it's worth, my reflective morning mindset was stirred by the thoughts of a friend's blog post, in which he calls us to a midwifing posture in the face of global shifts and personal recalibration. It reminded me of Keziah's birth and the things I learned about focus, surrender and the role of stubborn belief in the fact that yes, we do get to live out our redemption in our present reality.

I'm forever grateful for that experience. For having lived that little snippet of eternity, a moment in which I felt myself close to another dimension of being. A time when I felt what it is to trust that we know things - deeply know things - that no one's ever taught us.

Everything Steve writes about midwives was true about the woman who accompanied me through birthing. He especially mentions the way a good midwife is alongside a labouring woman without exerting power over her. I wonder what that means for us as we ask ourselves what we are birthing in these strange days. What does it mean about the kind of leaders we need for this new season?

Maybe one thing worth remembering about a birth process is that there are moments of wonder (for some people even transcendence) alongside moments of pain (possibly despair or desperation) and what can only be described as a whole load of mess.

I think that reminder helps me, on this day of unpredictable mood and emotion. The pain and the mess are just as much a sign that something new is being birthed as the wonder.

And you know, once the birthing process has started there is no way out except to birth that baby, one way or another. Could it be that even this inexorable nature of the process might encourage us? Whether today we have been most aware of the wonder, or the distress, or the mess, we are in it. And just by being here, we can be sure that something new and remarkable will find its way into the world.

As I mentioned to a friend, we may not have a clear idea of what it is that we are bringing to life. Until the very moment Tim laid this exquisite mite on my chest and whispered, We have a Keziah, I had imagined I was birthing a boy. Yep, right up until the very moment of seeing her in my arms. In the same way, we can have preconceived notions of the nature of the new thing that are not quite on track. But no matter, because when we recognise the new life for what it is, when we name it, suddenly it's as clear as if we had always known.

May we play our part in this birthing process - for our own lives, in our families, our communities, our nations. May we have the grace to go deep into a process that can feel scary and intimidating, and do so with a courage borne on the belief in redemptive goodness. May we know the energy of both surrender and energetic participation, and may we be assisted by those who have tasted of the deep knowledge we are just coming to know. Finally, may we know how to name the new thing, and in naming it, receive and wholeheartedly embrace it as the true gift it is.