And 36 days of connecting on screens. For Manu, 36 days of doing class online, at the same desk, in the same chair, for 5-6 hours a day. For me, multiple online meetings for an average of 3 hours a day and then additional hours of computer work or online collaboration.
Even for Keziah and Tim - currently the ones with no 'official' work roles - communication with the outside world means a minimum of 3 online connections each week, plus Tim's daily recording and posting of video stories and Keziah's social interactions.
They say it takes 3 to 6 weeks to form a new habit. And I find myself wondering what new habits we are forming during this time of lockdown. While I'd be the first to celebrate our desire to connect, and the amazing creativity that is being shown to do that in the face of home confinement, it seems to me that we're creating some rather disembodied habits.
What happens to a bunch of 11-12 year olds who are forbidden to use any public or communal spaces, and yet are obliged to be on screens for over 5 hours a day? That's not taking into consideration their entertainment options. What happens to adults who touch no one outside of their immediate family - indeed, who barely see anyone else except at the supermarket, where face-to-face communication is extremely limited - for weeks on end?
It's not that we are not good at finding ways to connect - we are - it's that we are creating ways of relating that are disembodied. I find myself spending way too much time in my head - listening to podcasts, audio books, talking to people over Zoom - and not enough time experiencing myself in my flesh and blood.
I become aware of this because I feel as though I am high on caffeine. That may be true, by the way, but I rather think this feeling comes from this head-on-a-stick approach to life we all have right now. My eyes burn, I get the sort of headache that comes from wearing my glasses for too long. And my thoughts are scattered, it's hard to focus. I'm not sure what I'm feeling, but it doesn't feel good.
Anybody relate to this?
The last few days, I have been becoming aware of my need to consciously be in my body. When I become aware of myself through my body - my five senses, my muscles, my posture - it grounds me in the present moment. Instead of wishing for the way life used to be, or worrying about the way life might turn out to be, I am able to be right here and now.
I've mentioned on the blog that I am enjoying preparing lunch most days for exactly this reason. Me, the resistor of domestic goddess status. The slicing of vegetables, the stirring of sauces, the clatter of dishes as I lay the table, all these things keep me tethered to this moment and out of the shadowy rabbit warren of my over-active inner processing.
For the same reason each morning, during my reflection time, I give a few minutes to meditation. Focusing on my in-breath and out-breath reminds me that I am a physical being, as well as a spiritual, emotional, intellectual, psychological one. By breathing in and out - paying attention to it - I am helped to be right here, the only place I can really be.
Then I move my body, I workout. I feel my muscles, I get sweaty and out of breath, I focus on lifting a heavy weight in one direction, or stretching in another. The blood flows, the chest heaves, the quads burn. Movement is not just a way to decompress from the stress of the current season, but is a way to intentionally be in my body, in ways that feel grounding. It helps me to be present to this day, this moment, this place.
Honestly, I find that hope and joy are only able to flow freely when I am conscious of living this embodied life.
So what else might you do in order to live into this embodied reality of who we are? Can you stand somewhere where you feel the breeze, moving around you? Are there blossoms where you are, whose scent you can inhale? How would it be to slow down and really taste your morning coffee, or the food on your plate? Could you play a piece of music at full volume that stirs you, or makes you want to dance? What would it be like to really see today ... your partner's face, the view from your window, a favourite image?
The truth is, we are integrated beings and our non-physical experience of being human is meant to be grounded in our physical one. That's when we do well. Maybe this was part of the reason Jesus told us to remember him by eating bread and drinking wine. So what would it look like, I wonder, to embrace all the non-physical ways we are finding to connect, and shop, and communicate, and be entertained ... and then to cultivate lots of being-in-our-bodies that will offer a counterweight to what would otherwise be rather disembodied?
What are you doing every day that helps to ground you in the present, physical moment?
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