I'll be honest, this part of our jobs is not easy. Well, it's amazing and not easy. It's amazing in the sense that we are joined through a sense of common purpose with people of faith in so many different locations; such kind and hospitable people. It's amazing and a real privilege to get this incredible overview of the Body of Christ, physically present in so many different locations, and relationally present to us when we visit and when we are living in Spain or travelling in Africa. These groups are so diverse - different ages, different socio-economic brackets, different racial groups, different levels of education - and yet sharing this common desire to be part of what God is doing in the world. Remarkable really.
The not easy part is self-evident.Every two years, we spend weeks away from our own home, travelling thousands of miles from one place to another, giving up our rights to eat what we want when we want, with little time to truly be 'off duty.' This isn't a complaint, it's just the nature of the beast.
Clearly it's not for everyone, this way of life. We feel called to it and it's still discombobulating.
This summer marked 20 years pursuing our sense of calling in this way, which is pretty incredible if you think about it. For 20 years we have had no 'salary' as such but have simply trusted that God would provide what we needed when we needed it. And the crazy thing is, He has. Some of that provision has been downright miraculous but mostly it has been through the committed generosity of individuals and groups who, for whatever reason, have willingly tied themselves together with us and our own small endeavours to see God's kingdom come in the places He puts us.
Even after 20 years the realities of our choice to live this way can still be hard. Apart from the ongoing need to walk in humility and vulnerability (amazing how challenging that can be) Tim and I both have unfulfilled dreams that seem crazy given the reality. Take our shared desire to own a plot of land - nothing fancy, just something we could put a cabin or tiny home on - instead of renting our whole lives long. A couple of times in the past few years a viable plot has been dangled tantalisingly before us and it's hard, in those moments, to trust that the same God who has kept us fed and clothed, with wheels to drive and beds to sleep in, can do whatever He has a mind to do, in His time.
It's important for me, then, to remind myself of the unique value of living out our calling in this way. Of course, we could do faith-based work for a centrally funded organisation that pays salaries to its personnel. There's nothing wrong with that, so why choose this particular modus operandi?
One truly amazing thing about receiving our funding this way is that money is never our primary filter in decision-making. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean we never think about the cost of things before we buy them. On the contrary, we know what it means to budget, believe me! No, I mean that when we are deciding whether such-and-such a project is something we should do, or whether such-and-such a trip should be made, we make that decision based primarily on a sense of the intrinsic value of the project or trip. It might seem backward to make a decision to do something when you don't have the money and you don't know how you'll get it, but that's kind of a way of life for us. It means that we have been able to go to places to teach groups that have no way to pay our transport, let alone a teaching fee. We are free to serve those people in ways we couldn't if the decision was based first on finances. Yes, there are times when we've had to delay something while finances are pending, but there's still an unexpected sense of freedom in all this, rather than the lack of freedom one might expect.
Another thing is that we don't do things primarily to make money; in fact, making money through what we do doesn't really figure. We teach, train, offer spiritual direction or debriefing for free, in that sense. This is what I have found unsettling about my recent foray into the business side of being a coach with the Beachbody company. While I believe wholeheartedly in encouraging people to steward their physical health, and while I long to see people's embodied life working in a fully integrated way with their spiritual and emotional development, I am simply not motivated by the desire to make money doing it. I don't mean that it's wrong to make money this way, I have simply been confronted by what a mindset shift it is for me to put the motivation to make money in the lead.
As I look back over the past 20 years and reflect on countless stories of timely provision, I'm amazed. Which doesn't mean that as I look ahead there isn't a frisson of anxiety (it would be foolish to be presumptuous, after all). All I know is that this way of life, for all its challenges and demands, has actually given us a greater degree of freedom than I ever expected to respond to the needs and opportunities around us.
As for how we spent our summer, you pay your money and you make your choice, right?
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